By Sana
BHMS and Yoga Trainer
22 June 2022 -
Medically reviewed by
Dhanashree
MA (Psychology)
5 Mentally Damaging Misconceptions About Demi sexuality
Table of Contents

Pride Week Of Mental Health

This ongoing week is the last week of pride month. Pride month, as we all know, is celebrated globally to support our dear friends and cherish their freedom of sexualities. While doing so, we as a 'Practical Anxiety solution' team believe that not only the outer world nor the society we live in needs some change. To be at peace, we must have a mental health awareness movement among the LGBTQ+ community. This is our way to support the ongoing pride month! Pride Week of Mental Health.

What is demisexual

Demisexuality is a type of sexual orientation. People who are identified as demisexual only feel sexual attraction to someone after forming a very tight and strong emotional bond with them. Most people who are demisexual rarely feel sexual attraction if we compare to the general population. Some have little to no interest in sexual activity.

Most of the general population feel sexual attraction regardless of whether they form a tight emotional bond. Many

people are comfortable having a sexual involvement with the strangers they meet online. But people who are demisexual don't feel this initial sexual attraction. (McAlister, J., 2020)

5 MENTALLY DAMAGING MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT DEMISEXUALITY

1. Are they prudish or sex-averse?

When it comes to prudish, prudish is someone who is easily shocked by rude things, especially anything relating to sex. In simple words, they are extra shy about some intimate things. On the other hand, Sexual aversion disorder (S.A.D.) is one of the two sexual desire disorders in the diagnostics and statistical manual of mental disorders. And it is defined as a 'persistent or recurrent extreme aversion to and avoidance of all or almost all genital sexual contact with a sexual partner which causes distress or interpersonal difficulty. Demisexuality does not mean someone is prudish or afraid of sex. Demisexual people do not feel sexual attraction to new people. Demisexuality also isn't related to moral or religious beliefs about sex. It is a sexual orientation and not a choice.

2. Celibacy and demisexuality are the same

To understand the difference between celibacy and demisexuality, we need to understand what celibacy is. In short, celibacy is when a person desires sex but chooses to abstain for moral, ethical, or health reasons. So, the concerned person decides to stay away from sex by choice. But demisexual people can never find themselves sexually attracted to someone unless they are deeply connected with the other partner. So unlike celibacy, demisexuality is not a choice that people make.

3. Demisexuality is a response to sexual trauma.

This particular misconception is the most harmful misconception regarding the demisexual community. Many survivors of sexual trauma recommend that misconception harms the most on a social and personal level. Someone's sexual orientation is not something that can be worse or broken in the most common way of thinking. Being demisexual is simply part of their personality and not a response to whatever the person has suffered. People can be demisexual even if they haven't faced any mental trauma in history. 

We need to understand that changing the thought process as a reaction to trauma is something different than sexuality itself. one cannot deny that people may tend to adopt a nature where they completely resist sexual attraction due to trauma. Still, again that is something different from demisexuality. 

4. Demisexual are afraid of intimacy.

Well, things are a bit tricky when it comes to being afraid of intimacy; as we have seen earlier that demisexuality is something that one cannot feel sexual attraction with their partner unless they form an intimate bond with them. So demisexual need not be afraid of intimacy. It is very clear that demisexual are not afraid of intimacy as that's what makes them feel sexually attracted to their partners. But can you be demisexual and afraid of intimacy? Absolutely! One label doesn't minimize or invalidate the other. You're demisexual if you only feel sexual attraction after you've built an emotional connection to that person. You're afraid of intimacy if the stuff we just talked about resonates with you. It's not the other way round.

5. Demisexual never have sex.

Compared to the general population, most people who are demisexual rarely feel sexual attraction. Some have little to no interest in sexual activity. Most people in the general population can feel sexual attraction regardless of whether they form an emotional bond with someone. That doesn't necessarily mean a demisexual can never undergo sexual intercourse. That is presumably the worse misconception one can have.   

Demisexuality and Mental Health

The general idea is that having regular sex is integral to a person’s emotional well-being. This can be the case for some people, but it need not be the case for everyone around.

When sexual abstinence is involuntary, some individuals may feel adverse effects on their mental fitness. People who do not feel sexual desire may find these feelings distressing. Not having sex in a relationship can make a person feel insecure or anxious. Talking about these emotions can help remove any sense of discomfort.

Abstaining from sex is essential for good mental health. People may abstain from sex for many reasons, for example, because they have a low sex drive, are asexual, or choose not to engage in it.

The potential benefits of abstaining from sex, depending on the individual and their situation, include:

  • having no risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
  • avoiding a Source of Anxiety
  • taking time to work through negative feelings about sex
  • living in a way that is consistent with one’s religious beliefs

Research reports that sex is an excellent way to relieve stress and boost mental health. According to a study that surveyed 10,429 women with low sexual desire, 27.5% reported that it caused them distress. However, the figure was much higher at 81% among those with a current partner.

Some people may find that masturbation can reduce stress and anxiety by releasing hormones that produce a temporary mood boost.

FORGET WHAT'S OUTSIDE! FOCUS ON WHAT'S INSIDE!

It’s our suggestion to the demisexual community out there is never focus on what’s going on outside. In the outside world, it may be your pretentious friends, maybe someone notorious from your family, or even someone from your professional circle. Never focus on the outer negative world, focus on what actually matters. Your MIND! Your mind being at peace is the only way to achieve sheer positivity and comfort even in the long ongoing social hassle. Never ever focus on what’s outside, focus on what really matters! You!

Happy Pride Month to All ‘Practical Anxiety Solutions’ users. Stay mentally fit. Stay happy!

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