When you are close to someone, you automatically start caring for them but how can you know that instead of caring you have started to get very controlling to the point where you are not able to differentiate between caring and being manipulative.
Yes, caring for someone is a natural instinct but too much care can harm a person and make them feel smothered which in the long run is not at all healthy.
There are boundaries for everything, even caring for someone has certain boundaries. Ranging from parenting to teaching- everything is done with care but when someone starts to intrude way too much and starts providing the amount of comfort which is not needed then it gets very toxic to deal with.
Caring for somebody and being taken care of is a wonderful feeling but too many cooks can ruin the dish, in the same way, if you start caring for someone too much it can either backfire into you or it can make the person feel much suffocated(Wolff, J.L. and Boyd, C.M., 2015).
Why Do We Too Much Care For People Close To Us?
It is a known fact that every single personality trait of a person is mainly built onto them because of their past experiences. When someone starts smothering the people they love way too much then it’s mainly because of the disappointments they may have faced earlier.
A human being’s past is a reflection of who they are, secondly, it’s also because of deep-rooted insecurities, and caring for someone way too much is how they act upon it. (Fazio, S., Pace, D., Flinner, J. and Kallmyer, B., 2018https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article-abstract/58/suppl_1/S10/4816735)
What Happens When You Start Caring Too Much?
A certain amount of care is necessary for the people we love, caring and being affectionate to the people close to us makes them feel comfortable and loved. But when you start taking too much care that person will start getting too dependent on you for comfort and will suffer from attachment issues in the future.
Protection or Care?
Either that or that person might get spoiled and won’t start valuing you for who you are and when that happens it’s unhealthy for them as well as for you. Take the example of a kid with overprotective parents, it is again a known fact that people with overprotective parents are the ones who are extremely dependent on every single person around them for everything and when they have to do everything on their own it makes them way too stressful than anyone else around them.
Childhood Care Or Adult Care?
A person needs to rise as an individual as well and it becomes difficult when they are around someone who constantly smothers them for everything because this is one thing that they have to do on their personal and since they are so dependent on everything, it makes them go crazy when they don’t get someone who will do it for them.
It is also evident that people with parents who too much care in growing up to be constantly needy for love and intimacy, mainly because they are always used to getting a lot of attention since childhood.
Take Proper Care Of Yourself.
It is important to maintain boundaries, every single relationship needs boundaries and nobody should intrude these boundaries unless asked for.
So yes, too much care for a person is toxic and dangerous because not only will it make them feel suffocated but it will also make you feel stressed all the time(Gillick, M.R., 2012).