You can never get enough of the way a human mind works. We tend to take what we have for granted without regret. There are times when the reason for this action is that we are habitual to something happening or someone being around, and we know they won't just leave.
Further, justifying our action adds to this and worsens the situation making the other person think of themselves as the victim or being too easy for you. This is precisely where the No Contact Rule comes into play. It comes under Social Psychology.
The no-contact rule in psychology aims to help individuals heal and move on from a relationship by cutting off all communication with their ex-partner. Both men and women can benefit from the no-contact rule, as it allows them to focus on themselves and their well-being without being distracted or hurt by their ex.
However, it is essential to note that everyone's experiences and circumstances differ, and not everyone may follow the no-contact rule. Some women may find it more challenging to cut off communication with their ex, especially if they have children together or have ongoing obligations that require them to stay in contact. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide if the no-contact rule is the right strategy for them.
If you are a F.R.I.E.N.D.S fan, you would be familiar with this term. The burning of dinner reservations with Nokulule Oon Taah and Rachel throwing in Paolo's alcohol remains escalated the event.
Suppose you have no idea of the above context. In that case, a boyfriend bonfire is a made-up cleansing ritual done by some women in which they burn the memories of their ex-partners, such as their photos, clothes, gifts, etc., to break the destructive boyfriend cycle so that they meet loving, caring gentlemen ahead.
This is one way of tackling the urge to communicate with your ex after you have decided to cut off all forms of communication with them.
The psychology behind this step is that our mind gets habitual quickly. Your former partner must have gotten used to your sweetness and caring nature even when you thought he did NOT deserve it. This is why he took it for granted. He believed that you would always crawl back to him no matter how harsh his approach gets. He grew addicted and habitual unconsciously to your caring behavior and response.
When any addiction or habit is abruptly ended, the person is left with a big question mark. When you apply the No Contact Rule, you shortcut off all communication with your ex; this leads them into a whirlpool of questions about why it all stopped.
Here comes the classic dialogue from a manipulative partner when you apply the No Contact Rule. They would blame you for leaving. They would victimize themselves to make your stay.
Know when to back out. Once you apply the No Contact Rule, they cannot contact you anymore. This includes showing up at the doorsteps and calling at night because that is when they'd feel bored, which they would interpret as lonely.
This would be your test to maintain your application of the rule—the most challenging task to keep going. You would encounter guilt, the urge to return, and so on. This is because just like they got habitual to your caring behavior, you got regular giving. You justified your actions to yourself and kept giving, even when you had reasons not to.
The moment you break this rule, you lay an impression on them that you are too susceptible to leave. This would lead to more manipulation in the future.
It is stated that a breakup after an intimate relationship could have a similar effect to that of a drug addict being refused drugs or suffering withdrawal.
With the No Contacts Rule, you refrain from being in touch with your former partner, to whom you had grown habitual and, in a way, addictive. This crumbles you up in discomfort and urges you to ping them once. With the mention of the No Contact Rule, you can NOT allow yourself to do the following:
The primary need is for you to realize your worth. In a toxic relationship, we tend to grow emotionally and mentally dependent upon our partner, perhaps because we are shaped into doing so.
The No Contact Rule is needed to heal yourself and earn trust in situations and self-image. You gain a perspective and get time to work on yourself in terms you wish to. In addition, you gain enough strength to decide whether to head back or move ahead.
Such steps could be taxing if you haven't thought them through. The only way to get this done is by working on yourself and realizing what you are worth and what it is that you need. No Contact Rule helps you get face to yourself.
The success rate depends upon how and where you apply this rule. If you focus on getting back with your toxic friends or relationships, this rule will probably NOT work.
However, if you are willing to give yourself time, get closer to yourself, overcome the addiction to relationships, and become independent, without a doubt, this rule will work for you.
This process includes much time with yourself, i.e., letting your emotions out. You could take this time to grieve, deviate your frustration upon a 'hit me,' binge-watching with a mug of hot chocolate, and shop your worries away.
You discover yourself in a new way. Things you didn't know about yourself before would face you now. In that context, the success rate of the No Contact Rule is above 90 percent. This means you realize your worth during this period and become mentally and emotionally independent.
You will feel empty and lost for the first few days since all that keeps your mind occupied has suddenly vanished. But with constant effort and proper maintenance, you feel yourself being relieved. You'd learn to appreciate the minimalist things in life which you were too occupied to bother about. You would get plenty of time to look after yourself, transform yourself the way you like!
You will eventually start setting your priorities straight. You would learn to start putting yourself first. You will develop a calm tone of nature where the societal drama won't affect you as quickly as it used to. You'd prioritize efforts over any said words. Actions would be on things you believe in, and you would no longer be susceptible to predators.
Once you establish your worth and be your genuine self, it becomes relatively easy to move on. Mind you; you might get constant distractions from your toxic friends, ex, and mutual during this time. But make sure you head straight on your path. Compromising at times like these could harm your mental and emotional well-being.
When you become self-aware of the experience and step ahead by moving on, you are least likely to fall for the wordy drama your partner plays to manipulate you the next time. You would save yourself the time and effort you put into a relationship.
There would be noticeable changes in your former partner/friend that indicate that the No Contact Rule is working. Your person shall start acting differently as if cut off from a supply of drugs.
Your former partner must have put in a lot of effort to be with you in the first place. Seeing how you treated and tolerated them, they tend to know your vulnerable side and not try to go for someone else that easily because you already know that person.
While you are blocking them out, the affection they show could be a trap. If they could NOT treat you well while you were with them, there is no way you will turn their heart around now.
The duration of the No Contact Rule depends upon the type of breakup or rough patch, the relationship's time, and the division's cause. Another factor influencing this is how desperate you have been since the breakup.
The average duration begins 21 days after the complete cut-off. However, if the breakup has been traumatizing, the minimal course could extend from 60 to 90 days.
One thing to remember during this is that the method should be followed consistently without any loops and breaks. Interruptions in the process will lead you back to square one. Try different activities and distract yourself from disturbing thoughts and feelings about your ex.
No Contact Rule is a pretty straightforward way to eliminate toxicity from your life. Although it can NOT get you back with your ex in most cases, there are fair chances you might never have to indulge in the "relationship drama" repeatedly.
No Contact Rule makes you emotionally independent and brings you closer to your true self, making you realize your worth.
Remember that if your ex never tried to keep you, they do NOT deserve to put you back through it again. Do NOT get distracted by their short-termed sweet talks. You are worth much more.
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